I have to admit, sometimes I struggle with writing. Well, maybe it’s more than sometimes, and it’s not because I don’t know what to say, but because I have so much to say that my thoughts get tangled up like a ball of wool that’s impossible to untangle. That’s part of the reason why there’s a mess in the name. That’s also a reason why I love writing, sometimes you start writing one story and end up with a completely different one. Just like in life, you can hope for something, but you can never be sure what it will turn out to be – it always ends up being exactly what it’s meant to be.
The first time I should start a blog crossed my mind was in high school. Of course, it was about makeup, as becoming a makeup artist was my dream at the time. I was far from professional, but I loved it so much that I would try different looks before night shower, and beauty blogs were a thing back then. Trying to recreate the looks with little makeup I had was challenging and joyful, and it made me so happy. That was the point of it all, to do something that makes you happy, and I know many women who started doing it because it made them happy. There were no calculations, no what’s trending at the moment, no what’s bringing me the most likes and followers, no how I can monetize this… it seemed like we were doing it out of love, it made us happy, and we were genuinely interested in it. Now, I’m not saying no one is doing it for those reasons anymore, I believe they do. However, social media and influencer culture created a trend in which every hobby and passion should be monetized. And even though it can be nice to turn your hobby into a job, I don’t believe it should be a standard.
Somehow, I ended up deleting photos on the beauty blog, and had no idea how to get them back. Which is why a new blog came to life, somewhat of a lifestyle theme, and no matter how much I wanted it to be a thing, something was holding me back. The same thing happened with the last one a few years ago. After I started therapy, I needed an outlet, I needed a space where I could share what’s going on in my mind, and I really needed to feel not defined by it. It was a way to show myself that mental health struggles don’t define you. I didn’t want to hide and let it be bigger than me. Now I see where I went wrong. While I was comfortable sharing one part of the story, I was still processing the other.
One reason those blogs aren’t here anymore is that it wasn’t the right time. The second reason, which I believe many of you can relate to, is that I was a perfectionist. None of the ideas was good enough. So I thought. None of the work I did was good enough, I believed. And I tried again and again and again until I got it perfectly, and we all know how that goes. It’s never perfect, and I realized, it shouldn’t be. Life is not perfect, and when you really think about it, that’s where the beauty hides. Don’t you think? Another reason, and a big one, is that I wasn’t in the right place. I felt lost. Sometimes I still do, but I guess we all feel that way at some point.
Maroon mess came to life because I finally allowed myself to create without the pressure of getting it right. It’s a space born out of reflection, healing, and honesty… It’s a place where thoughts can flow freely, even though they don’t make perfect sense. It’s about embracing the chaos that makes us human, finding meaning in the mess, and sharing stories that remind us we’re all figuring it out as we go. Whether it’s through small joys, personal growth, or simply pausing the breathe, maroon mess is here to explore how beautiful imperfection can be.
Thank you for being part of this space, it means more than you know.
Take care,
Kristina
P.s. If you enjoy the mess as much as I do, you’ll love maroon letters – a cozy newsletter about life, growth, and everything in between.
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